Martin and Raoulle are warm and friendly, and after we have ordered coffee we sit down to discuss their new book, 'Strength Through Joy'. We begin by asking them about the controversial title:
Why 'Strength Through Joy', wasn't that one of the slogans of the Hitler Youth?
Raoulle: Yes it was, but before that it was used in the act of a Monsieur Petaine, a French Puppeteer who used to entertain children in the parks of Paris; that's where I first heard it.
What sort of puppet shows did he put on?
Raoulle: They were grossly indecent actually, when I look back. I think he should never have been allowed to perform them. My mother caught me watching once and attacked him with her shoe!
So 'Strength Through Joy', what does it mean in the context of your book?
Martin: Well the book came about as the result of research we did into happiness. Until we met both of us had experienced a lot of personal unhappiness. In my case, I realised at a young age that I was not fully human, actually about 50% human, but I didn't know what the other half was. At first I thought I might be half a dragon, but that was I think, wishful thinking. A wonderful specialist in St Thomas' Hospital, Cyril Cot, told me that my calcium levels were too low to be 50% dragon and that I should look more towards the Bovine species for the answer. I was seven then, and I spent the next 20 years searching for the answer, then I met Raoulle...
Raoulle: Yes I too had many problems as a youth, it started before I was born; my mother found a way of removing me from her womb when she was tired so she could rest. One day we were in a big store in Paris and my mother took me out of her womb and placed me on a display of brioche, a kind of bread, bear in mind I was still attached to my mother by the umbilical cord. At that moment an old woman came over to look at me, and not realising I hadn't been born yet, started cooing and trying to touch me. My mother took exception to this and threw some bread at her, the old lady retaliated and knocked my mother to the ground pulling me with her.
We were both unhurt, but my mother got arrested! When the police came my mother was in such shock she couldn't put me back inside so I got arrested as well, as an accessory! They wouldn't let me see a lawyer. This trauma, which I detail in the book, was the first of several significant events that led me to meeting Martin and writing 'Strength Through Joy'
The Book is a self help book but with a difference, you offer no actual solutions to life's problems, in fact you say quite clearly that there are no solutions, is this right?
Martin: Solutions to what? You need problems if you are going to have solutions! Most people's worries occur because of railway signalling, specifically the'block' system and a rather poor design of on/off light switch. None of these things is within our control so we can't really see them as problems. I'd rather we see life as a kind of satchel or shoulder bag, maybe a bit worn, maybe sparkling new, The shoulder bag has many uses other than those for which it was designed: it is a vital ingredient in genetic research, and plays a part in overcoming the difficulties in fostering children of different races.
Raoulle: I think what Martin is trying to say is, it's not the shoulder bag itself that represents life, but the creative uses of the bag...
Martin: No that's not what I was saying at all! Forget the bag, forget the bag! Life is like a...a...g-string, a thong. Yes, life is like a thong, a pair of frillies...
What will readers learn from the book?
Martin: They will learn about themselves! If you have noticed we have cleverly placed a mirror inside the front cover. This means that each book is a reflection of the individual reader. As Nick Griffin writes in his introduction: 'In these politically correct times it has become fashionable to blame ourselves for our own problems. When you look in the mirror it becomes clear that other people are largely if not entirely to blame.'
Is that Nick Griffin, leader of The British National Party?
Raoulle: Yes, he is a truly remarkable man. We met him at the opening of the Ann Summers shop in St Ives in Cornwall. He became a little overexcited and collapsed, Martin and I helped revive him and clean him up, from then on we became good friends. Did you know he has wooden eyes?
Martin: He also has tungsten testicles! Only joking!
Having read the book we were surprised that the last two thirds were a collection of cake recipes, and formulae for reversing male pattern baldness, how come?
Martin: We ran out of time, simple as that. Do you have a problem with that? Yeah? Do want to start now? Right here, in this cafe? I'm fast I am, really fast, so if you want to start I'm happy to oblige. You look like a green baby you do and where's your knees, you haven't got any have you? Start right now, hit my hair, you know you want to. You took my mothers virginity you did, you're my father you are!...
Please can we return to the book?
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