We catch three buses and a taxi to a secret location just outside Swansea to meet Angry Barry, the 'World's Most Pierced Man'. We arrive at high steel gates on an abandoned industrial estate and are met by a burly man with a shaved head and dark glasses. He opens the gates and leads us across a large compound. As a way of making conversation I ask the man whether he feels that Monet's work is rather chocolate boxy, he ignores me. Eventually we arrive at a large green shed from which strange noises are emanating, clinking, clattering, scraping and cries of pain. The burly man opens the door and beckons us to enter.
At first the shed appears to be full of scrap metal. Long steel bars, aluminium strips and rusting iron trimmings are piled almost to the ceiling. However this heap of junk is moving slightly causing the noises we heard outside. Now and again something from within the pile emits a groan.
The man shouts something at the pile and a voice answers in a Swansea accent: "You can go now Wyn, I'll be alright with these boys". The man leaves pulling the doors closed behind him. The voice from the pile continues, "Come to interview me have you boys? I wonder what for He...He...He...Well get on with it I'm rusting away here, not much longer to go boys!"
Are you Angry Barry The World's Most Pierced Man?
Well, who do you think I am, the world's least pierced man...? Now sit down boys you're making me nervous. Sorry about Wyn, he doesn't say much he has a limited vocabularly, by that I mean he's actually running out of words. Now what do you want to know?
What is your real name?
Boring question guys! Well I was born Diana Spencer in 1952 here in Swansea. My mother thought I was a girl because I had a 'widow's ear'. My parents had a row on the ward where I was born and damaged some equipment. They blamed me and I was thrown out of the hospital. I ended up sleeping rough on the streets of Swansea until I was 4 days old and then an old lady took pity on me and took me in; thats how I got my first piercing.
How old were you?
I was 6 days old. The old lady's husband had a do-it-yourself piercing kit but he was too scared to do it to himself so he tried it out on me. He rammed a steel bar through my bell-end and hey-presto! I had a 'Prince Albert'!
What did your parents think?
How do I know, I was 6 days old! Anyway my mother had murdered my father by then and was in jail. The old couple decided to keep me, on one condition, that I never read books. The old man saw reading as a sign of homosexuality and to this day I have never read so much as a crisp packet.
What was your childhood like?
Great! I was a bully! Bullies have great fun. I would recommend bullying to everyone. I picked on anyone from little kids, girls, weak boys and the elderly. And I wasn't a coward, my 'Prince Albert' gave me strength and I would often use it to get in that last painful blow, great days!
When did you get your next piercing?
I was 5, I was walking through Swansea when this man, a tall man with a briefcase knocked into me, I bit his leg and he stabbed me through the head with a pen, right through the brain. It was Aneurin Bevin, I found out later. Bastard!
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